Parenting a teen today is not easy - but then, neither is being a teen! During adolescence, part of a teen's job is to test boundaries and push for parents to expand them. It's more important than ever for parents and caregivers to set safe and consistent boundaries with their children. It provides a foundation of stability that also helps teens control the rate at which they are changing - giving clear, safe borders to push against.
So, how can we set boundaries for our teens without creating a power struggle? Where can we learn about proven strategies parents can use to set healthy limits, establish boundaries, and create trusting relationships?
InnerAct Alliance and our prevention partners at the Partnership to End Addiction can help with these helpful suggestions:
Create Boundaries Together - teens are much more likely to follow rules and limits that they help to create, so why not involve them in the discussion from the start. Be clear that the goal of the boundaries is to protect their health and safety, not to control them.
Include Consequences - let your teen help determine consequences for violating boundaries. Keep in mind questions like - are the consequences clear? Can you enforce them? Is it time-limited and related to the teen's action? Make sure you're both on the same page by reviewing each limit and stating the consequence out loud together. You may even want to put the details in writing.
Enforce Limits & Acknowledge Success - all teens make mistakes, that's how they learn. And when your teen does, it's normal to be upset - but avoid making empty threats. Only enforce the consequences you talked about, no surprises. When things go well, be sure to let them know - everyone likes a pat on the back, a word of thanks, or a compliment.
Monitor Behavior - by staying in-the-know about your child's daily routines and who they spend time with, you're taking an important step in preventing substance use. It helps to explain to your kids that knowing their daily activities and whereabouts isn't about control, but about ensuring their safety and staying involved.
Following the Rules of Monitoring
*Aim for open, honest conversation. Talking regularly is the best way to know what they're up to and when to be concerned.
*Get to know your teen's friends - online and off. Make your home a safe space for them to hang out.
*Become familiar with the apps, social media, and other technology your teen is using.
*Know how much money your child has and how that money is spent.
*Be adaptable and allow for increasing independence as teens show more responsibility & safe decision-making.
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