School Stress: Modeling Healthy Behavior for Your Child

 

Here is a fact that cannot be stated often enough...Parents have much more influence over their sons and daughters than they think! Even if your teens try to make you feel unimportant, don't underestimate how much you can really impact them.

Modeling healthy coping skills – 61% of teens say stress and anxiety take a toll on their lives. Reports show that this is a common reason many turn to substance use. How we, as parents, handle stress and pressure can be reflected in our children’s behavior. Be mindful that what you do and say guides your child’s behavior, attitudes, and beliefs over the long term. That’s why it’s important to model the behavior you want to see in your kids.

Our friends at Partnership for Addiction offer some examples of how our behavior can make an impact on our stressed-out teens and young adults:

* When parents are stressed, kids feel it even if they don't show it. Acknowledge what you're going through and talk about how you are handling it.

* Be aware when your turn to substances to deal with a problem - whether it is alcohol, nicotine, or even aspirin.

* When you pour a glass of wine or beer for yourself, be mindful not to say, "I had a really bad day" at the same time. This establishes a connection of using a substance to manage stress or feel better

* Pair your anxiety/stress with healthy coping strategies and explain them out loud. Instead of saying "I'm so stressed out today, I really need a drink", you can say "I had a really stressful day, so I think I'm going to take a nice quiet walk to decompress." Or "I'm so stressed out today, I'm going for a run."

* Practicing mindfulness and meditation can be really helpful. You can even say, "Who wants to meditate with me?" Even if it sounds forced or goofy, it works - your kids are paying attention.

Keep in mind - Teens can and do notice when you don't practice what you preach. If your teen points out contradictions in your behavior (which they love to do), take responsibility and talk about how you can correct your slip-ups.

* Choose times and settings to model behaviors that will increase the likelihood of your teenager paying attention and being receptive to them.

* Positive modeling can be challenging. It does not automatically guarantee your teen will follow the behavior you demonstrate - but it definitely improves the odds. They'll internalize it and hopefully act on it, whether now or down the road.

Key Takeaways - Narrate what you're doing - and why you're doing it - when you are performing behavior you'd like them to mimic or adopt.

* Continue modeling good behavior, even if your child pushes back or seems indifferent to your actions.

* Own your bad behavior and reflect on it out loud and in front of your kids. Modeling helps them learn from your mistakes. It helps show that failing and trying again builds coping skills, grit, and resilience.

* Praise your teens when you notice them demonstrating healthy coping skills on their own. Reinforcing positive behavior makes your teen feel proud and goes far to assure the behavior contines.

To learn more about strategies to support your children, visit the Partnership to End Addiction website at https://drugfree.org