Science tells us that parts of the brain responsible for decision-making and impulse control are not fully developed during adolescence. That's why teens are susceptible to peer pressure and more likely to engage in impulsive behaviors for immediate reward than to consider negative consequences of their actions.
Because the brain's frontal lobe - the decision-making center - is the last to develop, parents and supportive adults must act as the frontal lobe during the teen years. The Empowering Youth and Families program shared 5 steps for parents to guide their children in making sound decisions to feel good about for years to come:
1. Identify the Problem - what type of decision does your child have to make? The situation can be hypothetical or a challenge they are currently facing.
2. List Options - brainstorm possible options and corresponding actions. Let your child take the lead. Offer suggestions when they ask or if they are having trouble getting started.
3. Weigh Consequences - help your child think through the implications of each decision by making a list of pros and cons. Provide support and encouragement along the way.
4. Consider Personal Values - ask your teen to think about their values and consider which decision best aligns with those values.
5. Decide, Act, Evaluate - after considering all options, your child must make a decision and put it into action. Encourage them to reflect on their decision and evaluate what they might have done differently.
Learning to make good decisions is a valuable life skill. We all make bad decisions sometimes but lessons can be learned from them too. When your child makes a poor decision, make it a teachable moment. Talk about where the decision went wrong and how they can make a better choice next time they're faced with a similar decision.
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